We’ve just moved to offices in Marlborough. So here’s our new address for your records. Our other contact details are the same.

Characters Ltd
23-24 The Parade
Marlborough
SN8 1NE

Here’s to a great 2012!

“Boundaries were blurred.”
“Mistakes were made.”

And this tortuous outpouring of obfuscation…

“When it comes to the pecuniary interests of Mr Werritty in those conferences, I am absolutely confident he was not dependent on any transactional behaviour to maintain his income.”

By resorting to the ‘passive voice’ – where it’s unclear who’s performing the actions – he distances himself from his behaviour. He doesn’t say, “I blurred the boundaries.” Or, “I made mistakes.”

Instead, he instantly reveals he’s hiding something. Crafty, yes. Sly, maybe. Clever? Never.

They’re nominalisations. And they’re addictive. Many a corporate scribe has dabbled in nominalisations thinking they could handle it. Just months later, they’ve gone from writing friendly human speech to spouting formal corporate fluff.

Nominalisations work by crushing energetic verbs (doing words) into life-sapping nouns (names and titles). Instead of saying “We will review your finances…” a nominalisation will announce proudly, “We will conduct a review of your finances.”

Nominalisations don’t just hide in phrases that end in ‘of’. They lurk in any terms where the writer should just say what they do. Like “our project evaluation”. Or “our financial review process”.

So, don’t undertake a rejection of nominalisations. Or communicate a negative response to them. In the words of Zammo Maguire, just say no.

There’s much to like about Radio 4. For me, it’s the sharp comedy shows and grumpy journalists. But a couple of things are really starting to give me the itch: The Archers and stodgy middle-class language.

The Archers probably isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Her Majesty put paid to that when she helped save it in 1976.  But I don’t see why the station’s presenters who, after all, are trained writers, regularly spout formal phrases like, “Minister, can you confirm when you will make a decision?”

Make a decision. In the grammar trade, it’s called a nominalisation: turning perfectly good verbs into stuffy nouns. Personally, I don’t make a decision. I decide. I don’t make a choice. I choose. And hopefully, one day, rather than take retirement, I’ll retire.

Call me a pedant if you like. I suppose it’s all part of getting old.

What do you think? Is Radio 4 far too middle class? Or a comforting antidote to Chris Moyles?

I recommend it. He rants incessantly for around two hours about washing machines, hoovers, lifesaving certificates and ancestral quiffs. But as a copywriter, the bit that grabbed me most was his tirade on Innocent’s packaging blurb: “Who’s their target audience? Bungle!?”

About five years ago, the marketing industry went Innocent nuts. Everybody wanted a slice of the kooky, irreverent Innocent tone. Its product copy wasn’t cold, distant and aloof. It was personal, friendly and funny. How refreshing. Then it spread. Inanimate goods became possessed by the personalities of CBeebies characters. “Buy me, try me, love me,” gushed sauce bottles. “I’m helping the environment,” cooed smug hessian shopping bags. “Feed me,” chirped clamshell mobile phones.

As most copywriters will tell you, around 5 years ago, nary a briefing session went by without a client or account manager asking for some whacky Innocent wordage. But what’s great for a chumsy whumsy smoothie bottle rarely sounds as cool in an internet banking brochure (“Come on, what are you waiting for? Click me baby, one more time.”)

Now I’m all for making copy interesting. I love trying to grab readers by their scruffs. But never at the expense of a brand. Or at risk of winding up the people that buy its wares. So before going all-out cute, stop and think. Is it right for the audience? Will it warm them up and make them buy? Or get their goat and give them Tourette’s?

Which reminds me.

Anyone seen those Halifax TV ads set in a radio station recently?

It’s little wonder copywriting is first for the chop when budgets are tight. After all, everyone can write, right? Truth is, there’s a gulf between schooled writing and the crisp prose copywriters use daily. Who remembers the lesson on tautologies, redundancies, repetition, cliché, alliteration, sentence forms and passive verbs? I must have been off sick that day.

There are copywriting rules that make words work harder. But much of a writer’s ability comes down to natural aptitude and experience. Only by working with many different clients will a copywriter become skilled at switching styles, using rhythm, structuring information and knowing when to stop. And when to break the rules.

Whether you’re writing your own collateral or looking for support, copywriters can still play their part. Here are five things you can do to get engaging words for an affordable price:

01. Do it yourself: if it’s your first attempt at writing copy, spend some time honing your style. Read as many competitor brochures, websites and ads as you can. Before cranking up Word, check out this unusually accurate entry from Wikipedia.

02. Clean it up: if you’ve written the copy, it’s a good idea to send it to a copywriting professional for a second opinion or a tidy up. Send them your document, talk things through, and they’ll edit, rewrite and give it an edge.

03. Do the groundwork: if you have some rough content but no time to knock it into shape, give a copywriter a call. They’ll take your ideas and craft it into compelling copy your customers want to read. Best of all, because you’ve made a start on the words, you’ll pay less than putting a copywriter to work from outset.

04. Get the brief right: if you want a copywriter to write everything, prepare a brief that provides full support information and details of the audience, contacts, media and deadlines. Giving a copywriter a full brief means they’re more likely to get it right. So you’re less likely to pay more if it’s wrong.

For an overview of required information, here’s an example brief.

05. Ask for a quote: if a copywriter charges by the hour and things take longer than expected, costs can spiral out of control. Ask your copywriter to provide a firm quote that includes a couple of rounds of amends. A quote will also help with your budgeting.

Budgets may not be what they once were. But that doesn’t mean we should overlook words. Used well, they have the power to sell, influence and inform. Used poorly, they have the potential to lose you custom and damage your brand. So, take your time, prepare your content, and don’t be afraid to call on a copywriter to help keep your costs down.

Copyclean
You email the copy and we’ll clean up the grammar, turn out the typos and sweep the spelling clean. £30 an hour + vat.

Copycraft
You email the copy, we’ll rewrite your content and make it sparkle like new. £50 an hour + vat.

Copyworks
If you need fresh copy, email or call 01793 619626 for a chat. We’ll discuss what you need and provide a fixed quote that won’t change unless you change your mind. That means you keep control of the cost.

We’d love to know what you think of these packages, especially if you can suggest more. Email your thoughts to info@characters.ltd.uk

Now, imagine you’re the agency account manager. Your best art directors and copywriters are working on the next big campaign. That’s ok, this job is mostly copy. A Mac monkey and a cheap freelance writer is all you need, right?

Why use a Copywriting Agency?

With a copywriting agency, every copy job is important. You get the attention to detail and quality output of the best freelancers. At the same time, you benefit from the responsiveness and adaptability of an ad agency. Think of it as always having an expert on the case.

Think about this too. One copywriting agency can unify your brand voice across different media. So you’ll avoid the varying quality, tone and interpretation that comes from using different media-specific agencies. Makes sense doesn’t it?

When it comes to low-risk enterprise, setting up as a copywriter ranks somewhere between breathing and babysitting. And with the recession in full swing, expect lots more wannabe scribes jumping aboard the gravy train to Copywriter Parkway.

Copywriters or cowboys?

“Of the group of people who call themselves freelance copywriters, a far greater percentage is inexperienced… than was the case a decade ago,” said Lisette Howlett, Managing Director of Hirescores.com at www.freelanceuk.com. “The quality of the core professionals is still just as strong, it is just that the size of the pool so much bigger.”

There’s more to this problem than pulling pearls from poo: “Even though these… (candidates) aren’t a serious threat to skilled, professional, natively fluent British copywriters, they are depressing the market in terms of earnings – and, in many cases, eroding trust.”

Searching for copywriters online can be a tricky business. Unless you strike lucky, you’re likely to get what you pay for, or pay too much for work that falls short.

And don’t we know it. Building the Characters team was, frankly, a pain in the proverbials. But there are some good writers out there working at reasonable rates. Happily, we’ve found some crackers and made them sign contracts in blood.

That’s how we make it easy for clients. With Characters, there’s no risk of paying too much for a bad writer. Because we’ve already found the best writer for the job.